Canine Quotations

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
-- Franklin P. Jones

"Dogs remember faces; cats, places."
-- English saying

"A lawyer is just like an attack dog, only without a conscience."
-- Tom Clancy

"I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see wistful sadness
and existential angst when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning
the ceiling for flies."
-- Merrill Markoe

"Houses are for private living, for friends, and for dogs."
-- Françoise Sagan

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Now
you know which sex is smarter"
-- Nancy Gray

"People can be a fine substitute for other dogs. But I think tat if
they had to choose, dogs by and large would choose the company of other
dogs."
-- Anthropologist Elizabeth Marshall Thomas

"Whoever beats dog loves not man."
-- Ansène Houssaye

"My dog Millie knows more about foreign affairs than these two bozos."
-- President George Bush, referring to Bill Clinton and Al Gore during
a campaign speech in Warren, Michigan

"When a man's dog turns against him it is time for his wife to pack her
trunk and go home to mamma."
-- Mark Twain

"The poor dog, in life the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, foremost to defend."
-- Lord Byron

"Happiness is a warm puppy."
-- Charles Schultz

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your
dog would go in."
-- Mark Twain

I have always thought of a dog lover as a dog that was in love with
another dog.
-- James Thurber

"Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other."
-- Cynthia Heimel

"When most of us talk to our dogs, we tend to forget they're not
people."
-- Julia Glass

"The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic."
-- Henry Ward Beecher

"You own a dog; you feed a cat."
-- Jim Fiebig

"It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore
or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things
in this world with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts,
and money."
-- Danny DeVito

"If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one."
-- Andy Rooney

"When a dog runs at you, whistle for him."
-- Henry David Thoreau

"I explained it to St. Peter,
I'd rather stay here,
Outside the pearly gate.
I won't be a nuisance,
I won't even bark,
I'll be very patient and wait.
I'll be here, chewing on a celestial bone,
No matter how long you may be.
I'd miss you so much, if I went in alone,
It wouldn't be heaven for me."
-- Anonymous

"He who lies down with the dogs gets up with fleas."
-- Fred Gwynn

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We
can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
-- Rita Rudner

"Stick around any place long enough and chances are you'll be taken for
granted. Hang around 20,000 years wagging your tail and being man's
best friend, and you'll be taken for granted big time."
-- Lynn Van Matre

"I can train any dog in five minutes. It's training the owner that
takes longer."
-- Barbara Woodhouse

"It is a terrible thing for an old lady to outlive her dogs."
-- Tennessee Williams

"Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the
overflow and surplus of the world's worship."
-- Ambrose Bierce

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love
yourself."
-- Josh Billings

"I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me
virus infections than from kissing dogs."
-- Barbara Woodhouse

"Say something idiotic and nobody but your dog politely wags his tail."
-- Virginia Graham

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there
long before any of us."
-- Robert Louis Stevensen

"Generally, or at least very often, people with a deep interest in
animals are the best people around."
-- Roger Caras

"You can't keep a good man down--or an overaffectionate dog."
-- Anonymous

"There is no greater pleasure than having a dog. And that's a
scientific fact!"
-- Louis Sabin, commenting on a university study on the effect of
owning a dog.

"It doesn't matter where you are in your own personal development, nor
has it mattered where you have been culturally; dogs simply don't pass
judgment on you the way all of the rest of life and all your other
companions seem to."
-- Roger Caras